Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Planning Our Elopement: The Ceremony

1. Pick a date/time/location for ceremony
2. Write our ceremony

3. Buy wedding rings
4. Find a wedding dress
5. Book a hotel room
6. Find accommodations for the cat
7. Get our marriage license

Richie and I were planning to spend Saturday, September 25th in NYC anyway, so we said, "Hey! Let's get married then!" Our officiant, Judie, and I emailed back and forth about availability, and we determined that Saturday at 1pm was the time! (That meant that we needed our marriage licensed issued by 12:59pm on Friday, September 24th. More on this when I get to #7.)

But where?

Although we briefly discussed the Museum of Natural History, Central Park was the obvious answer. It was looking like the weather was going to be amazing, so we definitely wanted to be outside. I've always been drawn to ceremonies under trees, and Central Park has trees! So that was it. Richie used to live in NYC, so I asked him what his favorite part of Central Park was (I could only think of Bethesda Terrace), and he said the Turtle Pond. Yes! Perfect!

As for writing our ceremony, I asked Judie to send me her packet of sample ceremonies. It was pages and pages long, but we were drawn to her "Simple Civil Ceremony," but we wanted to personalize it with our own vows and a reading.

After searching the internet for vows that 1) don't say "God" in them; 2) don't make me sound like his property; and 3) mean what we what them to mean, we chose this, which we actually found on The Knot:

"I, ______, take you, ______, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us."

And for the reading,  I scoured the comments of a few vow-specific posts on A Practical Wedding, and found a poem by Rives. It wasn't the one, but it led me to another Rives poem, entitled "Glaucoma." It was so perfect for who we are and how we imagine our life together...far into the future:

When you and I
are old and grey…

I’ll have a belly,
a hound dog named Shakespeare
and a pickup truck.

You will have
a pretty cotton dress
and glaucoma,
which will steal your sight.
And you’ll stand on our porch in the morning
with your face to the sky,
and I’ll come outside
with the birdseed or something, going:
“Whoa, whoa, baby–don’t stare
right into the sun like that!”

And you’ll say:
“Oh, you old poop!
I may be blind, but I’m not a dope…
I’m a heliotrope.
That’s a fancy word for sunflower,
if you don’t remember!”

And I’ll go:
“Awwwww–I know heliotrope, hell…
I invented it!”

And then I’ll whisper: “Hey.
The yonder is just as wild and blue
as people say it is today.
And you can’t see, but…
I haven’t done yard work for weeks.
The crabgrass is practically piggyback
on the buttercups, Buttercup,
but I love you. I love you.
And I’m gonna keep you mine
like a crow loved to hold
an old telephone line, remember those?”

And you’ll say:
“What, crows?”

And I’ll go:
“Nahhh–telephone lines.
Remember? Back in the days
when the bedding was yours
but the bed was mine.
You remember that, Sunshine?”

And then I’ll shuffle back indoors,
bent but still feisty,
and I’ll do what I always do.

I’ll lie on the floor
with a scrap, and a pen,
I’ll write a poem,
describe the rest of the day for you

you blind, old…


1 comment:

  1. Oh, wow. I really love those vows. They're beautiful. Also, awesome poem.

    I loved your post on APW, too.