Sunday, December 5, 2010

Getting Married Before Getting Married, TV Style


I was watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother today (a new favorite, so I try to watch all the old ones so that I can follow along with the references in the new ones), and caught Part I of Lily and Marshall's wedding.

In the episode, they showed how initial wedding plans rarely are what you end up with. They went from wanting a small, intimate ceremony in a garden with an acoustic guitar to a 300-person, indoor affair with a harp player where everything went wrong.

And like Pam and Jim of The Office after them, they secretly and spontaneously got married (in a garden with their closest friends and a guitar player) before the ceremony that was planned.

I think that had I seen this episode (or Pam and Jim's wedding) pre- or during planning our wedding, I would have appreciated the sentiment of running off and getting married privately and accepting that sometimes, the big wedding just doesn't work out (like you thought it would or at all). BUT, I'd still probably believe that ours would be different.

I've planned events before. I've helped my friends with their weddings. I am extremely organized and creative. So of course I could pull this off! But when it came down to it, sometimes you can have all the right tools, but if others (caterers, photographers, venues, etc.) aren't willing to work with you, then that big wedding with tons of players and projects and logistics just might not be in the cards. And that's okay.

It reminds me of math. I've been bad at math all my life. And I was raised hearing that if you try your best at something, you have to succeed (and I appreciate that I was raised this way). So when algebra came around and I tried by best and STILL sucked at it, it was a very rude awakening.

Finally deciding that no, our wedding was not going to happen the way I thought it would was also a rude awakening. I had been planning it in my head forever! I had experience! And ideas! But guess what? I can plan parties instead. And thank goodness we didn't waste any more of our time, energy and money just trying to make it work and then run off spontaneously and secretly right before the ceremony anyway.